October 30, 2010

drunk.

Have you ever noticed that when men are drunk they tell the truth? They say what is on there mind and it could be good or bad. While someone is drunk they can change someone's life forever; whether it's good or bad they still changed it. As a child you could have almost been raped by a best friend's drunk father. You could have seen something that you weren't suppose to see. You could have found out what you are best at and how people think you will succeed. All of the things mentioned have happened to me. I wouldn't say that you should or shouldn't be around people that drink heavily. I like being around drunk people even though i could possibly get hurt. The guys that i know that get drunk are smart when they are drunk. They. Teach me things about myself that would never have known. I would rather listen in on a drunk person's conversation than go with the used to be best friend to a party that is being thrown for no reason. I would learn more from the drinkers than i would from my friends. Most of the time drunk people will be straight up honest with you and that could be good or bad. I find even the bad stuff to be good. I enjoy knowledge. I enjoy listening. I enjoy honesty. <3(: , Andreaaa

what a shitful crappy past i have. haha.

All I've ever wanted was to feel loved, adored, needed, respected. I rarely get any of those things. My family is broken, Guadalupe (my mother) is a stupid whore and she is the reason for the broken family. My step-dad/birth father of my half-brother, which Guadalupe will not admit, lives somewhere in Arizona, I think. My dad is my hero, he will never leave me and my sister, he promised. Plus, he still loves the crazy bitch after she cheated on him. My godmother is also divorced with custody of her 2 kids. My godfather is also divorced without custody of his daughter, whom I have never met, he's been in jail many times and is being given a last chance to stay in the u.s. Guadalupe has a big family, I don't even know some of my aunts and uncles, and even less, my cousins. I've had to grow on my own, matured. Guadalupe worked all day, no really father figure, atleast not my pussy step-dad. pervert? Yup that was me ;). I've been a smoker, cigs were my thing. Drinker? Hell yeaa! No longer a virgin, sex was my release for a while. i was almost raped, one the worst things any girl can experienced. Molested by my ex-best friend's dad. Guy friends see me as a pair of big boobs that dont mind being handled a way, when it actually makes me feel disgusting. I watched Guadalupe get hit when I was young. Saw the cops take my papi away. I have trust issues and confidence issues. I suffer(ed) from depression. I have thoughts of suicide, tried it once and I scared the shit out of myself. I can't stay with one guy for a long time, though I want to. I like dicks and boobs, guys and girls. most people don't get me, hell!, I don't even know myself. I want someone to figure me out and let me know what they find. I am a wreck. Haha.

October 26, 2010

October 24, 2010