what a shitful crappy past i have. haha.

All I've ever wanted was to feel loved, adored, needed, respected. I rarely get any of those things. My family is broken, Guadalupe (my mother) is a stupid whore and she is the reason for the broken family. My step-dad/birth father of my half-brother, which Guadalupe will not admit, lives somewhere in Arizona, I think. My dad is my hero, he will never leave me and my sister, he promised. Plus, he still loves the crazy bitch after she cheated on him. My godmother is also divorced with custody of her 2 kids. My godfather is also divorced without custody of his daughter, whom I have never met, he's been in jail many times and is being given a last chance to stay in the u.s. Guadalupe has a big family, I don't even know some of my aunts and uncles, and even less, my cousins. I've had to grow on my own, matured. Guadalupe worked all day, no really father figure, atleast not my pussy step-dad. pervert? Yup that was me ;). I've been a smoker, cigs were my thing. Drinker? Hell yeaa! No longer a virgin, sex was my release for a while. i was almost raped, one the worst things any girl can experienced. Molested by my ex-best friend's dad. Guy friends see me as a pair of big boobs that dont mind being handled a way, when it actually makes me feel disgusting. I watched Guadalupe get hit when I was young. Saw the cops take my papi away. I have trust issues and confidence issues. I suffer(ed) from depression. I have thoughts of suicide, tried it once and I scared the shit out of myself. I can't stay with one guy for a long time, though I want to. I like dicks and boobs, guys and girls. most people don't get me, hell!, I don't even know myself. I want someone to figure me out and let me know what they find. I am a wreck. Haha.